Everyone talks about why when Yosef finally reveals himself to his brothers he asks, "Is my father still alive?" There are many answers. But I'm thinking that whatever we want to say about that specific question in that moment there's a broader context to consider. In the big picture Yaakov is always split between being Yosef's father and being the father of his other sons. This is true in terms of how they saw him as their father and how he related to them as his children.
Yaakov clearly treated Yosef in one way (special clothing, spending time just with him, sending him to check on the brothers/others) and the brothers another way. I don't think that Yosef ever refers to Yosef as "our father" or that the brothers ever refer to his as father of all of them, they just speak of father of them ("we are 10 sons") and also - by the way - of a brother who's now gone.
So when Yosef asks - if just his father is still alive, it's not such big news. They were talking about their father, and it's true that he was just one living body and soul, but in essence Yosef's father and the brother's father were quite different, like two fathers. So it makes sense to stress this point, putting it out there that his father is special to him, that through this whole story Yaakov as a split father is key (spiritually keeping Yosef strong, sensing spiritually - if not consciously - that Yosef was still alive, and on the other hand being deceived by the brothers and having tension with them over the fact that Yosef died under their watch.) (It's ironic that Yosef died under the brothers' watch, even though he was sent to watch them).
I always thought it odd that we speak only of the story of Yosef and his brothers, why not speak of the story of Yosef's sons. I think calling these brothers sons would highlight their unity, that they were born to the same father. Speaking of Yosef and his brothers highlights the division between them, the fact that as independent humans these sons split into groups of brothers, a group of 10 and a group of one (plus his dad). (This fits with the brothers' saying we are ten sons, and then there's one who is not here. He was never with them, in their group.
In hard times we sing Am Yisrael Chai + Od Avinu Chai. I think this harkens back to Yosef asking, "Is my father still alive?" We say that Our Father in Heaven is still alive and connected to us. What helps this to be so? The fact that are sing TOGETHER and say OUR father, rather than singing alone about MY father. When is it true that Am Yisrael Chai? When we embrace each other - correcting the mistakes made by all involved in dividing sons and brothers in this story.
May we be blessed to be living embodiments of Hineh mah tov u'mah na'im shevet achim gam yachad. May our Father in Heaven be proud of each one of us, and also of all of us together. And may our father - the father of Barry and Neil - be proud of each of us and of both of us, his two sons, two dear brothers, together.
